Our Fathers

by Wayfarer

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Our debut full length "Our Fathers" out on Tragicomedy records. Standard black vinyl, artwork by Branko Vranic, spins like a dream.

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credits

released March 9, 2010

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Track Name: Our Hands
She always thought he was the kind of guy who liked the look but
Couldn’t stand the smell of smoke
He always thought she was the kind of girl to script these collective feelings
But she only writes when she’s alone

Our hands were washed in broken light
Our hands were stained before His eyes

You found truth in rows of wooden pews
I’ve found it in the way we move
We’ve got it figured out; we’ve got something to prove
To all of you

We feel as if we’ve found our way through the dimly lit streets and the graves our fathers laid
They all have never felt so free, there’s a distinct comfort in belief

We are the kids on front porch steps reminiscing about death
Reflecting on the lives our mothers led

She always thought he was the kind of guy who liked the look but he just liked the smell of smoke
He always thought she was the kind of girl to script these collective feelings
But she knows there are worse things than being alone
Track Name: Watch You Bloom
This world claimed our substance long ago
As soon as we started praying for all those things that we were promised as kids
Rebelling for aspirations of order
But submitting with poor form to the words of our fathers
“If you own nothing, then you can give nothing”

Repair all those things that they swore they fixed
The mirrors, the walls, and all those broken teeth
Through fevers and fits we could finally see
Ah, with what dignity we have lived

I’ve watched you bloom
Track Name: Salvation
We left it all to come undone
The only trace we left were these dirty hand prints pressed on walls and anything that felt like home
As we strived for disenchantment we were still surprised when that’s what we got
We know we’ll never miss how fast this ground would give

We thought we’d know
We knew we’d know
Then we fumbled through the lines we stole
That’s when we knew
They’re always ready to forget you

As we all forgot the words we used to know
Our heads stuck stopping cast stones
They asked what salvation meant to me
With that schoolgirl sneer through stained grey teeth
I thought it might just be the right to disappear, definitively
Track Name: Still Eyes
He sat on a park bench crucifix in his hands
The top few buttons on his shirt torn undone; he had feet made of clay
As the cross fell between his knees silently he lifted his gaze still looking for something, still looking for someone
He can’t even picture in dreams but he’ll wait a lifetime to meet
It’s a wager he’s willing to make

He told me there he has never had to question his faith
That was before a boy of maybe 10 turned to him to say
“Dad, will heaven be worth all this pain?’
He could tell from his face the boy knew he was lying

He asked, “Does it ever get hard believing in nothing?
When you look through the trees tell me what it is you think you see.”
I see splendor among oak, blonde leaves resting upon temporary homes
Yet he was somewhat surprised I grasp beauty without the divine

All I know is that this sky will last longer than I

Where vice and virtue both blur and falter
With a prayer in nostalgic poor taste down by the alter
Track Name: On and By
I always knew we’d fall together
But I never thought we’d hit this hard
Hoping this city will forget your name only to realize it never gave a shit in the first place
You can fill its fountains with your petty change

This is when you realize that you’ve got one of those faces
That will let them all just pass you by
This is when you realize that you’re not mapping new terrain
You’re simply charting the old landmarks

And I laughed when he said all he’s learned has been forgotten but now I can’t remember why
And they’ll cry because the only moments they remember were the first to slip my mind
And they’ll cry because they still can’t see the difference between getting on and getting by

You’re always staring to the sky because you can’t bear to screen those eyes from a past you wished was never left behind
It can never conquer only impose, you lose these battles on your own within these crooked walls you chose to face alone

I lost that touch
You lost those eyes
Tonight
When it felt so right leaving you behind
Track Name: The Stranger
This could be my trial
For all the tears I didn’t shed
For all the times I didn’t mourn
For every instance that I left instead
Of pretending death is something beautiful
If that were true
These obituaries would sound much more like poetry
And the dead would be embraced not grieved

No one would dare wear black to their mothers wake
Whether you think they’re gone forever or in a better place
The wind won’t apologize for the stalks it sways
I won’t apologize when the stalks begin to sway

Until you see death in that childs eyes
Can you truly appreciate their smile
Vigor grows through those wounds they left behind
And I won’t use my hands to shield my eyes
If you promise not to grin if I go blind
You said this sickness was so fucking fleeting

‘Your world’s absurd’ the old men sing
But these kids think actions carry meaning
I knew I never could believe in them
Track Name: Same Kids
When we first met your hands were shattered and mine could hardly feel a thing
But with sticks, wood and string we tried to mend what was once thought so
Broken windows, broken doors, and the nights we spent on bathroom floors
Helped us to realize there was substance to those years we looked to leave behind

Because we were left behind
We were idle landlines
Flowing through ghost cities like veins
That couldn’t keep these hearts alive
Always return to walk away
We lost the nerve, we lost our faith
Hanging up these paintings of young love
On the walls we built together, alone

We were kids caught stealing something we both knew we’d never need
But if we’d listened to those lessons we would have never saw each other in the way our fingers bleed

But can we really
Say that we wished things turned out differently
Because if all our dreams came true
There would have been nothing left to fix
I think what kept us up at night is what drew both of us in

We were kids looking for something that came with clarity in dreams
If we spent less time with our eyes closed we would have seen we’ve got all that we need
Track Name: Power in the Ground
This will be my first song about death in a long time
I’ve been living freely
Never waiting for someone to die
And its not like its been heavy on my mind
Made its way into the chorus
And I can’t help how good it sounds it sounds so good

Oh when you’re pulling my head
Down the road and you look so lifeless
With alter boys singing light heart verses
As my blood pours out dead end curses
When will I decompose

We run from natural light
To a foreign hotel back landing
And write dreams about death and dying
And my head was rolling black
Four wheels and a heart attack
And my blood was crying still when I woke up

Maybe there is a power in the ground
Maybe I’m just stupid
And I should give some thought to other sounds
A closed mind meant that I wrote the same song every time
and I’m still getting better at
staying awake and pushing out conscious lines

In another life, singing on an old road
Singing where were you when death was the centerfold
For young boys, growing up old
Teaching them how to write and how to decompose
Track Name: Arts and Warcrafts
Sometimes I wonder if I’m up there still hanging from your wall
You know the one by the window
Where we thought we’d see it all
The kitchen always looks cleaner when the cupboards are all closed
But with the doors now torn open
We see how empty they all were
We were more of an oil painting held steady on a wall
That when you got closer
It would lose its allure
It threw me off for a while and I know it fucked with you
But we were kids just playing selfish
I cannot hold it against you

We were looking for a method not a doctrine to make us think we weren’t alone
We became each other’s saviors
When we needed it the most
When I look back now it’s as if we never lost our way
I think it makes this that much harder
I never saw it coming
We let what brought us together help slit each other’s throats
But I think we both learned something
About what we value most
Maybe this was what we needed to help each other grow
But the sunlight’s not as rich
When you breathe it in alone
Track Name: The Hunger
And what if I’m wrong is the response I get
What if those pale blue eyes were weaved from heaven’s hands
What if this will to choose was never mine
What if we’re more of kin than strangers
What have I done to secure my seat
While you pass through the gates I’ll be watching from the street
Yeah you told me I’d be wishing then that I’d opened my heart and sought communion

But I’ve never really struggled with the thought before
I found tranquility and pleasure past those white washed walls
Even if I could repent, start all over again
I wouldn’t change a goddam thing

And what if He’s as real as the scripture states
He hasn’t passed me by, He’s been watching over me
He’ll come down to wash my hands and face
Offer forgiveness in a prayer I could recite
But I’d be choking on His blood again
I’ve been an honest man living a life I can’t resent
It’s not a question of enlightenment
It’s just I’ve always loved the view from where I stand

Plus, I’ve never really struggled with the thought before
I found tranquility and pleasure past those white washed walls
Even if I could repent, start all over again
I wouldn’t change a goddam thing
Because I’m living in a manner that I can’t regret
I am the thirst, I am the hunger, I am the suffering
And if I look for Him in the hearts of everyone else
I fear that I may lose myself